We had been together for what seemed like far too long to me considering you still hadn’t agreed to make things official (u lil bastard) but I wanted things to work out so badly, I was already in love with you. It really didn’t take me a long time to realize how wonderful you were. I had written you a song “White Lighter” that said everything that I’d wanted you to know, it was probably the one song of mine that I was most proud of because it was the most true. I didn’t sit down and decide that I wanted to write a song about you, it just came really naturally. That being said, the thought of actually letting you hear it scared me so badly. It made me feel really vulnerable in every way, especially because I wasn’t sure if you actually wanted all the things that I wanted. The fact that you kept making me put it off until your(i) “surprise” was ready didn’t exactly ease any of that anxiety either. But when I called you that morning you said that you were ready, so - naturally - I was feeling like my bones were trying to jump out of my skin and they wouldn’t stop until I just got all those words out of me. When you came over I felt so awkward and bumbly but we finally sat down and I shakily fumbled my way through the song. By the time I was done I was covered in a bunch of splotches and I was really afraid that I had made a big fool of myself. But you looked up at me and your eyes were all wet and it broke my heart in a really good way. You pulled out your little booklet and started reading what you had written for me. I wanted to cry when you got to the last page and realized you really did want to make me your girlfriend. That was probably one of the happiest feelings I’ve ever had, knowing that you wanted me in the same way I wanted you was all I had cared about up until that point. The rest of the day was so great, everytime I looked at you I got the chance to think to myself “hey lol that’s my boyfriend.” And as stupid as it may sound, i felt like things were really falling into place for me and there was no one else I would have rather experienced it all with.